HAPPI-WHAT

Photo by Greg Colbert www.ashesandsnow.org

Is a constant state of happiness even possible?  I ask this question because it seems we have an epidemic of happiness hunting spreading across the nation.  Wait, I meant to say the illusion of happiness.  Happiness is rumored to make us whole; and too complete us.  Do you know anyone who says “I am in the pursuit of sadness?”  Probably not, most everyone you know is in search of “happiness”.  I believe we would have a better chance of capturing a lightening bolt than the elusive creature, “happiness.”

I do believe in happiness, I just don’t subscribe to it as a constant state.  The ability to achieve emotional nirvana and maintain it for all eternity is not reality.  Getting honest with where we are at and how we feel is a form of happiness. Is it possible to be sad and find happiness in the sadness?  I believe it is most certainly possible.  Achieving emotional stability requires the ability to feel the full range of emotions.  The secret is not getting trapped in one state for to long.  A healthy physical state requires us to eat a various diet of nutrients so why would emotional stability be any different?  Eating a steady diet of carbs will deplete the body and most certainly end in poor health.  Experiencing a steady diet of any one emotion such as happiness, sadness, joy, anxiety, fear, or confidence will end in poor emotional heath. 

Humans want to put their best foot forward. Yet in order to do so it requires us to be honest about where we are.  Happiness is fleeting, just as all emotions are or can be.  In Asian Medicine we seek to find balance in all we do and what we do for and with our patients.  When I ask patients how they feel in general they will more often than not answer, happy.  I always ask this question late in the interview once they have disclosed why they are coming to see me.  Is it possible to be in a state of happiness if you cannot sleep, your job sucks, you are in a horrible relationship, your body has constant pain, or your body is carrying a disease that will change you forever?  Is it possible to be totally happy in these states of disharmony, the short answer is yes.  But happiness is fleeting and not a state of being.  All emotions are fleeting and not a state of being.  Experiencing the full range of emotions is the closest we can come to happiness.  The full range promotes health and healthy is the best state of being, mentally and physically. 

So many patients get stuck when they have a severe illness, such as cancer.  I have been told so many times, “I just want to be as wonderful as I was before. This has changed me forever. I just want to be what I was before.” What does that mean?  Take a close look at who you were before, was it all that wonderful? What makes you think you wont be better than you were before?  Asian Medicine philosophy is rooted in if you are balanced there will be no disease.  What if this is the wake up call to be better than before?  What if this experience is about being better?

I stopped searching for happiness; instead I seek contentment with achievable goals. I believe all things are possible so really all goals are achievable.  It may not look exactly the way we initially envision, but did we come close to hitting the mark? 

The universe is constantly sticking obstacles in my path; I am practicing a new mantra, “what is the opportunity here?” Personally I am currently in the middle of a shit storm. I am trying to stay in the eye of the storm because I find calmness there.  The happiness is in the uncertainty, what will my life look like when the storm stops?  That does not mean I don’t have terrible days where I shut he world out it simply means my happiness looks different today.  My contentment needs an infusion.  

Americans tend to think possessions will bring contentment.  Not one possession I have ever owned brought me long-term contentment.  But the energetic exchange with the universe and those who I love and love me has never let me down.  Sure I get disappointed but these disappointments make me so much more appreciative and grateful for the good times, the content times. 

I am so fortunate in my work because I learn as much from my patients as they  hopefully learn from me.  Interestingly I have had an increase in Eastern Indian patients. It has been an incredible experience learning of their culture and views.  Their approach to life is so different from Western culture. Unlike Western culture where we are raised to believe we can be anything we want, to some degree their lives are planned.  Yet there is a void of restlessness and a healthy level of acceptance. One of my favorite things an Indian man recently said to me was, “Westerners spend thousands of dollars and travel halfway around the world to find peace. When all they had to do was look inside.” It made me smile and reflect on our approach to contentment.  Westerners seek the truth outside themselves and rarely turn inward to find peace.  There is no self-help book that will make you find nirvana.  It may spark you to take a fearless look at yourself, but if you are unable to get honest you will not find happiness or contentment.  

I challenge you to find your contentment. Push yourself to find happiness in a full range of emotions.  You are sure to find balance and you are certain to find contentment.   

Photo by Greg Colbert www.ashesandsnow.org