Who Am I?

It seems everyone wants to know who we are.  What do you do? What can you do? Do you have a resume?  How long have you been doing this? You get the idea.  Like most people I begin to talk about my accomplishments or pass them the latest copy of my resume or CV for their perusal.  I am so much more than the sum total of all these things put together.  My professional accomplishments do not define who I am, nor are they a good representation of what I am capable. 

This vessel doesn’t reflect the true spirit of the soul that resides under the layers of sadness, fear, joy, happiness, triumph, and failure.  Who am I?  I am the man who years ago reached deep inside to find the frightened, violated boy.  I have embraced this boy and work hard to make him whole, and every day I am a little closer. 

I strive to leave the world a little better than I found it the day before. 

I am the person who can hear the primal, guttural cries of a grieving mother, and somehow find the strength to stand with her in her time of sorrow, when deep inside I wonder what could I possible have to offer. Beyond all else at times it is the silence and the energy of two souls connecting that bonds people, not something inspirational or profound that falls on grieving ears. 

I am a father, husband, son, and brother. I try to honor these roles and let them know I am always here and I have their backsides. 

I am the person who tries to remember that everyone is entitled to their own beliefs, and hope they remember that not everyone is a Christian and it is presumptuous and rude to assume we all believe the same.

I am the person who learns from his patients when they clearly think they are there to learn from me.  I hold their hands and even cry with them when life deals them a bad hand.  I help preserve their dignity when they are dying and I feel helpless and small against the circle of life.  I assist them in making small differences that change their lives, by connecting with their spirit and mind, and aiding them to connect within themselves.  I honor them by helping make them feel whole again. 

I am the person who, and some will find this hard to believe, sensors 75% of what comes out of my mouth, frankly some days it is just not worth it to speak out loud.  You will never wonder where you stand with me.  Honesty is the best policy and being forward in what you say. I am honest to a fault, it is generally not my intention to hurt anyone but sometimes I do. 

I am the person who sits with tears in my eyes, knowing I am the luckiest soul currently on the planet. Luck, opportunity meeting talent is only 10%, spirituality, not to be confused with religion, but what is inside us all, is 40%, and 50% is destiny.  I am the person who believes my soul is my compass, and I follow it. 

I am the person who believes in respect and manners, and 90% of time I follow these beliefs.  I believe in loyalty, honor, and above all else trust, without trust you have nothing. 

I am the person who allows music to touch my inner core taking me to far off places.  I can climb inside a great movie or theatrical production and wonder why it touches me so deeply.  I sing as loudly as I can when I am alone because I some how think loud will help me be less tone deaf.  I am the person who loves the expression of dance and at one time I would dance in public, but now I dance only for myself.  It is one of the greatest expressions of movement the body can do.  I am the person who revels in the beauty of all things artistic, even thou modern art is so lost on me.  I am the protector of books and I covet them, words have all the power.  

I am the person you can call in the middle of the night when you are in trouble.  I am typically a good listener but even I have my days when I stray.  I am trustworthy and dedicated to what I believe to be the truth and sometimes beyond.  I will give you 250%, which tends to hold me back at times, because I refuse to give less than my all.  I am passionate, confused by others at times as unyielding, difficult, and unreasonable.  But I take responsibility in my beliefs and stand strong for what I believe. 

I am a repressed chef and work diligently to hone my cooking skills.  I am the person who can get lost in a great cup of coffee while honoring mother earth for giving us the bounty of food and beverages.  Food and beverage can unite people for the most complex and simplest of events.  

I am the person who gets totally lost at the ocean, the smell of the sea, the majestic and all consuming sea, rolling in and out, in and out.  The water cleans my soul and rejuvenates my spirit.  The warm sand sifts gently between my toes as the gulls sing and bark at the fish just below the waves.  

I am cautious in giving my heart in total until I know I can trust you with it.  I am slow to allow people into my circle, this stems from allowing too much crazy in my past.  I am slow to trust but this is my issue not yours.

I say what I mean and mean what I say. 

This is a glimpse into, who I am.